end of intermission

The thieves didn’t just steal items and passports; they stole six weeks from us. That’s how long it took for Paul to get his visa reissued. Tim and I were in the US for five of those weeks having come over here on 16 September as originally planned. We didn’t think it would take more than a week to get the visa. On the 16th, my dad flew from Denver to London in order to fly back with us. When we travel on his companion passes, we get his seniority number if he is with us. Otherwise, we get put at the bottom of the standby list. His plan was to catch a flight to Heathrow via Chicago, arrive in London just in time to meet us, and catch the return non-stop to Denver. This way, he’d never have to deal with the time change. He gets to fly first class, so it’s a chance to enjoy a few good meals, a couple of movies, and all the booze he can take. It didn’t quite go as planned because the flights to Chicago were all booked, so he went through Sioux City. In total, he was on planes or in airports for 36 hours. Thanks Dad. What a guy. Really. Because of Dad’s presence, Tim and I got the isle and window two-seat combination in Economy Plus (infants can’t travel anywhere but economy and economy plus on companion passes). When I arrived at my seat and sat down with Tim, I said to the older couple behind me: “Let me apologize now for what may happen with my son on this flight. He’s never flown before.” The woman laughed and said that if he makes a racket she’ll just smack him. They are parents and grandparents several times over. The flight wasn’t too bad other than I couldn’t go to the loo-no way to leave Tim. Dad came back to check on me once but I didn’t think about it. Tim took a couple of naps and entertained himself with the seat belts, tray table (no one in front of him) and magazines. I had a backpack full of his books and toys but left it when I came through security – too many things to keep track of. I left his beautiful hand knit Springbok sweater that Gran made for him on the plane. Again, I couldn’t keep up with all our stuff. I just am not cut out for being a single mom.

Paul and I were silly thinking that because he had a sealed packet from the embassy with all his immigration paperwork inside, his passport wasn’t that important. I am familiar with several people, international teachers, who didn’t have visas when they went to work in foreign countries and just entered as visitors and then sorted out their work visas after they arrived. We were a bit naïve. He didn’t even make it through check-in before he was turned away. We should have known that a work visa and an immigration visa are poles apart and that the US is a country under a perpetual state of Orange Alert, now ruled by Homeland Security. We made a quick decision for Tim and I to go ahead and Paul stay behind and said our good-byes. Paul had a sad and long journey back to Smalldrinks. That’s the name of the home of our dear friends Jon and Tara and their children Edie (3) and Dominic (1). They let us stay with them in June when we had to leave our flat because it was rented and wait for Paul’s passport to come back from the US embassy a week later then we’d planned. They also let us stay with them for a week when we returned from our trip and did our final errands before moving to the US. They then let Paul live with them for the six weeks that it took for him to get his new visa. Paul became their cook and favorite uncle to the kids. We’ll never be able to express our gratitude for opening their home to him and then Tim and me when we returned to the UK. Just know that when they make their way to us in the US, they are in for one good time!

I won’t speak too much about the difficulties of the time that Paul and I spend apart. Tim and I suffered terribly from jetlag. It took Tim at least two weeks to come right. I made it after three days, but his sleepless, restless nights made it feel like I was never going to recover my sleep. Mom and Dad helped me during the day, and without this, I would have had a much harder time. Paul was stuck in the UK with nothing to do-a blessing to some but a real curse to him. He struggled with helplessness, and I struggled with single parenthood. We looked forward to our webcam chats and always came away from them heart sore and frustrated. The worst of all of it was that we did not know when it would end.

In the middle of the fourth week, my dad and I went to dinner. I told him that if the week ended without word from the embassy, I was going to take Tim back to the UK despite the jetlag he’d be subjected to. Dad said, “Why not go tomorrow? Even if you’re only there one day, it’ll be worth it.” No truer words have ever been spoken. Isn’t my dad great?! Word became deed, and my family was reunited on Friday, 17 October, one month after we left. The flight had plenty of empty seats, so Dad didn’t have to make the trip and Tim and I enjoyed three empty seats. He slept 6 hours and I was able to nod off a few times. Still no trips to the loo.


Tim waiting to board our plane back to the UK.

In the UK, Paul emailed the embassy the day before I decided to return, politely asking how much longer it would be until he received his visa as his family was separated and he needed to make decisions about reuniting us. On the Monday after I arrived, he received an email from them stating that his visa had been reissued and would be delivered via the courier soon. What is soon? Take a minute and answer that question for yourself. My time working in the UK and being Paul’s partner has reinforced my understanding of how slippery English is. For example, the word now means different things to different English speaking people, especially when adverbs are attached to it. To me, just now means in the very recent past as in “I got a call from my boss, and I’ve been given the new job.” “When did you get the call?” “Just now” (as in a few minutes ago.). Just now to Paul and many South Africans means I’ll do something in the near future, as in “I’ll fix the leaking faucet just now” (meaning probably today but maybe tomorrow). So what does soon mean? Paul and I thought it meant 24 hours, but to the person who sent the email who may have been either an American or a Brit, it meant four days. We were together and it was much better, but it did seem it would never end.


An English pub is a good place to kill some time, especially one as picturesque as this.

When we finally got the visa, we had to wait two more days until there were flights on United with seats for us. It looked like we could get out early on the Sunday morning flight (26 October) from London to Washington DC, so we spent the night at a hotel near Heathrow. We had to be up at 04:30 and Tim wouldn’t sleep in his own bed, so we appreciated the extra hour that came with England’s return to GMT. We got seats in economy plus again with Tim getting a seat between us. I got to use the loo! Our flight was delayed two hours due to mechanical problems, so we missed our connecting flight to Denver. Immigration and customs was easy peasy for Paul, a matter of getting his documents checked, visa stamped, and a fingerprint taken. We made it to the gate for the next flight to Denver. Dulles airport has TV monitors with updates on boarding, names of people who need to get seat assignments, names of people who are waiting for an upgrade, and names of people on stand-by. We were 33 and 34 on the list of stand-bys on a flight that was oversold and trying to cope with the spillover from our delayed flight. We didn’t get on that one. We didn’t make the next one either. We sat at the gate for the last flight to Denver of the day, again 33 and 34 on the list, and started discussing getting a hotel and eating dinner. The agent started calling names on the stand-by list and we watched person after person get a seat assignment. In front of us was a family of five. They made it, and just as they were about to close the doors, Paul and I were given seats. Paul was in 1A, first class and the very first seat on the plane. I had something like 48H, an inner seat in the very last row of the plane. Tim had to sit on my lap. We grabbed our bags, the stroller, the kid and nearly ran down the jetway as the agent hurried us along afraid they wouldn’t take our stroller so late in the boarding process. It was a miserable flight for Tim and I. The seats were so close together that I couldn’t get Tim’s bottle out of the bag at my feat. He screamed for 1 hour and 45 minutes – sick of traveling, sick of being held, and sick of me. The women on either side of me were helpful and understanding. I couldn’t even walk with Tim as there was turbulence and the flight attendants urged me to stay seated. By the time Paul was finally able to come and offer to change seats, Tim was asleep and I couldn’t risk moving. He didn’t have to ask for the story; he could see the misery in my face. After he left, the flight attendant from first class arrived with news that my husband wanted to buy me a beer. The ladies beside me shared the laugh with me and I enjoyed a cold one as Tim slept and my legs and bum went numb. Mom and Dad were waiting in Denver and our drive home was an easy and happy end to a long day.

We’ve been here 9 days, four of them we spent at Mom and Dad’s cabin. It’s getting cold up there now, but the fishing was good and the peace and quiet were just what we wanted and needed. Tim celebrated his first Halloween. He had two costumes: a kangaroo from our next door neighbors here and a Chinese suit from Pete and Tracy in Hong Kong. We also celebrated Paul’s birthday with a delicious meal at PF Chang’s.
Our plans are back on the original track. We aren’t going to do some of the travel that we planned because it’s too cold to go to some of the places like Mesa Verde. However, Paul is going to stay on holiday until his parents leave in mid-January, and we’re going to try to see some of the US between now and then. Mom and Dad have turned the bottom floor of their home over to us, and we’re settling in. Our goods from the UK arrived last week, and half of it is scattered on the floor, draped over the furniture, and stacked against the walls. We have so much room here that we can’t find anything. Poor us!


The lake in front of our cabin: perfect for fishing or just staring at while enjoying a beer or a hot cup of coffee while forgetting things like visas.

I’m going to get back to writing about our wonderful Europe trip. Paul used the time he had while he was trapped In the UK to organize our photos. As we go through them, I’ll write our recollections and share them and the photos with you. The robbery hasn’t tainted the trip or France for us. We’d do it all again, and we look forward to something similar when we leave the US.